Oh Crap. I’m a housewife.

Couch PotatoAnd I’m not just a housewife, I’m a CRAPPY housewife. I despise cleaning, I love sleeping in and I would rather watch a Real Housewives marathon than do anything constructive around my home. Let me give you a quick run down on how I got to this point in life: I graduated with an MBA just as the economy tanked, spent the next 6 months looking for a job, finally got one, only to get the boot 6 months later when the company went bankrupt. As if my luck wasn’t already questionable at this point, my husband and I found out that I was pregnant right around the time when the company announced that we were all about to get sacked. I mean, I’ve always loved kids and have always dreamed of being a mom but did it have to happen NOW? So, anyway, I tried unsuccessfully to look for a job after the lay off but as days turned into weeks and weeks into months, it became apparent that I wasn’t going to find work before the baby arrived. So here I am, 6 months pregnant and staring down a path that I never prepared myself for – that of domesticity.  

Back to why I’m a crappy housewife. Here is a typical weekday in the life of yours truly:

10:30 a.m. – Wake up. (I have nothing important to do for the rest of the day so what’s the rush?)

10:30 – 11:00 a.m. – Rush through my daily hygiene routine and make the bed. (I am extremely proud of myself for religiously making the bed every morning. This is undoubtedly the only housework that I do without complaint.)

11:00 to 11:05 a.m. – Tidy up the house. (And yes, this gets no more than 5 minutes of my time. In my defense however, we live in a small apartment and it’s not my fault that we are tidy people.)

11:05 – 2:00 p.m. – Lazily eat breakfast while watching t.v. and surfing the internet. (I have no excuse for this one. It is simply what I do.)

2:00 – 4:00 p.m. – See above but replace ‘breakfast’ with ‘lunch’.

4:00 – 5:00 p.m. – Tea time. (This is the highlight of my entire day because not only does it give me a chance to indulge in a rich PB & J sandwich but it also marks the end of the ‘work’ day which means that A) I made it through another day and B) my husband will be coming home soon.

5:00 p.m. – Start prepping and cooking dinner. (I may not do much cleaning but I DO cook!)

I’m well aware that my current weekday routine is very lazy and nowhere near what a good housewife (whatever that means) should be doing but here is the thing: I’m 6 months pregnant (!) and in no mood to crawl around the house scrubbing floors. Ok, I know that I could probably do a lot more than I’m currently doing but everyone says that I’ll be SO busy once the baby comes – shouldn’t I be allowed to live out these final 3 months in luxury? No? Well then here is a compromise: Without going overboard (Ha!), I will begin to make changes to my routine with the goal of living a more productive and healthy domestic life.

Starting Monday, August 9th 2010 (you didn’t really think that I would start during the weekend did you?), I hereby pledge to start my journey towards Good Housewife status.

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12 Comments

  1. VC said,

    August 6, 2010 at 7:58 am

    Fantastic – great read! “Oh crap. I’m a houswife.” – I can identify with the feeling of finding yourself in domestication when you prepared for something different. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and not to throw a spanner in the works but Mon 9th Aug is Woman’s day – you should take that day off and start Tues! 🙂

    • August 6, 2010 at 11:34 am

      Hi VC! I’m glad you enjoyed my very first post. I had no idea that Monday is Woman’s Day so thanks for the heads up! I can add this to my overflowing arsenal of procrastination excuses 😉

  2. awura amma said,

    August 7, 2010 at 5:27 am

    awww Shiko i love this! this is secretly the love i want. i promise since i saw your baby bump i’ve been wanting a baby more than ever. i just want you to know that you’re living my DREAM!!!! all the best girl:-)

    • August 7, 2010 at 1:43 pm

      Hi Amma! It makes me so happy to hear that you enjoyed reading the blog. I’m learning to love the life I’m living but I must admit, since it came about so unexpectedly, it’s proving to be a bit of a personal challenge. I hope you continue reading 🙂 and reminding me to be grateful!

  3. awura amma said,

    August 7, 2010 at 5:27 am

    sorry i meant to say “this is secretly the LIFE i want”

  4. IzJ said,

    August 7, 2010 at 5:29 am

    LOL @ ‘See above but replace ‘breakfast’ with ‘lunch’’…haha.
    I say enjoy your last 3 months of pregnancy because from what I hear from most new mums, motherhood is a joy but hard work with limited sleep.

    keep posting…and enjoy your womans day! look forward to reading more posts from Aug 10! 🙂

    • August 7, 2010 at 1:54 pm

      IzJ!! 🙂 I totally agree with you and fully intend to enjoy my last months sans baby. The truth is though, this couch potato life is neither happy nor healthy. Surely, there must be a way to enjoy my time without feeling like a complete and utter SLOB, no? In any case, this is what I hope to achieve next week so please stay tuned and reel me in if you think I’m going overboard!

  5. Lucky said,

    August 9, 2010 at 8:42 am

    I must say we enjoyed your posting, funny and insightful! Looking forward to reading more of your escapades in your new “career” lol!

    • August 9, 2010 at 3:53 pm

      Hi Lucky! Glad you enjoyed reading about this new career (as you so aptly put it) of mine…I hope you stick with me for the long haul!

  6. Dutta said,

    August 9, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    Awe Shiko Congratulations girl. Just like your friend after hearing your expecting as well as wambui, I wanna have a baby too. Geez I cant believe I said that out loud. Let me first get a Companion. lol.
    Sorry to hear about your job but you know what, Im a strong believer in things happen for a reason. Had you started working, you would have been so stressed, not time to relax, then the baby would have been here and after that I hear its all about the baby. So enjoy this time you have.

    So today I started working out too. I have a goal to drop some weight that ive been packing up all summer.

    Congratulations.:)

  7. wambui said,

    August 11, 2010 at 6:52 am

    Well it turns out that after all these years your breakfast eating habits have not changed. LOL 🙂

    U go girl blog away. I’m sure there are a lot of people out there (myself included) who feel very validated by reading your blog. Good on ya!!


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