Dear Baby

Dear Baby, 

Hi. It’s me, your mother. I don’t think we’ve been formerly introduced yet which I think is totally weird, given that you’re inside of me and everything. I won’t take up too much of your time…I just have a few things that I wanted to run by you, if that’s ok? 

I’m fully aware that you’re cramped in there. I appreciate the fact that you need to stretch from time to time. But seriously. Is all the kicking really necessary? One kick I can deal with, maybe even two…but the barrage of kicks at 3 o’clock in the morning is getting to be a major problem. And then there’s this thing you recently started doing that feels like you’re tickling or poking me with your fingers. That’s really cute and I’m happy that your fingers are in proper working condition but it feels really, really weird because your hands are directly above a very delicate area of mine (in about 10 years we’ll have a discussion about girl parts. ‘Delicate area’ or some other lame term will have to suffice until I find something else because this woman called Oprah who may or may not be relevant in your time, officially ruined the word Vajayjay for all of us). 

The doctor says that you weigh 4 lbs now. Congratulations! I must admit that I was secretly hoping for a ridiculous figure, say, upwards of 10 lbs to account for the 16 lbs that I’ve gained so far. Oh well.

I hear that you take occasional gulps of amniotic fluid (Euuwww) and can taste some of the food I eat. I hope you know that the ONLY reason that I’m currently eating my second strawberry filled donut and drinking hot chocolate at 11 pm is out of my deep, unfailing love for you.  Steamed broccoli would have been my preferred choice. *cough*

That’s all for now. Thanks for listening. You can go back to…to doing whatever you do in there when you’re not attacking my internal organs. 

See you soon,

Mommy

PS -> I know that I b*tch a lot about stuff, but in all honesty kiddo, you are TOTALLY worth it. And I mean that.

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22 Comments

  1. Dutta said,

    September 30, 2010 at 8:58 am

    Shiku this is by far the most beautiful letter to your unborn. Is she really tickling you over there?-ati Delicate Area!
    She probably getting you back for *** w/hubby! oh no I didn’t go there, oh well I just did. Ok will stay to her stretching.

    Love this.
    shes growing 4Ibs.

  2. Amanda said,

    September 30, 2010 at 9:58 am

    ahaha! great letter!

  3. farmgal said,

    September 30, 2010 at 10:54 am

    awwww

  4. Clare "AfricanQueen" K said,

    September 30, 2010 at 11:44 am

    When she’s grown she’ll be laughing at these posts. I like the “”

    • September 30, 2010 at 5:50 pm

      I hope so. Either that or she’ll sue me for violating her privacy.

  5. Shiz said,

    September 30, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    awww, she’s a feisty one, that one!

  6. Mumbi said,

    September 30, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    Aaaaw!! on behalf of your kicking daughter, cute and adorale letter but the kicking and the heartburns must go on!

    • October 2, 2010 at 1:19 am

      Yaani, no sympathy! 🙂 It’s ok, I can survive a few more weeks of this. I hope.

  7. wairimu njiru said,

    October 1, 2010 at 4:13 am

    Ciku you are a fabuluos writer, you should actually write a book or something……..been reading your blogs, and actually sent a very good friend of mine to read you blogs as well, we are both avid readers

    Congratulations on the baby, babies are blessing from God, and i soo know and your letter to your little one, went through the same interesting kicks and tickles……….

    Will be looking forward to reading more from you

    • October 2, 2010 at 1:22 am

      Aww, thanks Wairimu! I’ll be looking forward to your expert mommy advice 🙂

  8. kellie said,

    October 1, 2010 at 7:01 am

    This is such a sweet letter. Tickling the delicate parts from within. hihihi!!

    • October 2, 2010 at 1:24 am

      Thanks Kellie! It’s funny how they neglect to prepare you for some of this stuff!

  9. October 4, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    lmao i’ve rolled on the floor laughing my ass off. i wish there was an acronym for that! you crack me up cuz. when’s the tenant vacating the premises by the way? in the meantime try doing hand stands to create some distance between your erm, “delicate area” & the sticky fingers!?

    • October 5, 2010 at 1:26 pm

      Eviction notice has been served! Tenant must vacate by Nov 7th. Hand stands would be a very good solution if only her feet weren’t already stuck between my ribs :-/

  10. October 4, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    you’re pulling on my heartstrings here!

    beautiful words sis

    • October 5, 2010 at 1:20 pm

      Thanks Ms. A! I have my moments…when I’m not preoccupied with whining that is.

  11. Roberta said,

    October 8, 2010 at 12:43 am

    Awww…… I’ve got tears in my eyes. This is so awesome, you actually have me wishing I had a baby to talk to like that. BTW when and how did Oprah go and ruin ‘vajayjay’ for us? I didn’t get the memo. LOL!

    • October 8, 2010 at 9:54 pm

      I’ve got love for Oprah like every other red-blooded woman but my goodness, if she shouts “Vaaaahhhh-jaaaay-jaaaay!” one more time I will strangle myself. I’m experimenting with the word Jayni (Jah-ee-ni) instead…don’t think it’ll catch on though.

  12. Sarah said,

    October 11, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    You are hilarious, Shiko! I say screw the business thing and become a journalist! You are a great writer.

    • October 11, 2010 at 10:52 pm

      Thanks Sarah. Although, it would seem that the business thing screwed me first already.

  13. Shekyn said,

    October 15, 2010 at 2:12 am

    I am such a cryer. LOL. For some reason, this peace made me cry. If there is anything that has made me read almost every piece, on your blog (I’m getting round to reading ALL of your blogs) is the fact that you send out such positive vibes. 🙂


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