I bet you thought I didn’t. But I did. So, there.

Remember when I said that my afternoons were utterly boring and that I was going to take up some sort of crafting activity but I didn’t know what I was going to do because I’m not any good at that sort of stuff but I was going to give it a shot anyway because doggonit I needed something to do? Well. After visiting a few crafting websites and seeing how much crafting supplies actually cost (!) I settled on knitting because A. I already own knitting needles and B. It dawned on me that I had no interest in making soap or candles because shower gel and electricity have served me just fine thus far, thank you. With that in mind, I settled on knitting something for the baby. Truth be told, I was heavily motivated by the possibility that another mom may admire my knitted wear and spread the word to all the other moms on the block that they should all be jealous and aspire to be the kind of mom that I am i.e. the kind that knits, because everybody knows that knitting moms are awesome. I can just imagine myself casually pointing to my warmly dressed child saying Oh that? No, *insert fake laugh here* it’s not designer. I just made it one afternoon when I was bored. Bam! Awesomest. Mom. Ever.      

The beautiful thing about knitting is that no matter how much of a novice you are, you can still make something. Take me for example, I’m completely useless when it comes to knitting, having only ever knitted monochromatic scarves, but after watching a few You Tube videos I made two baby hats with matching leg warmers! See proof below.

Granted, all measurements were totally guessed, one of the hats turned out bigger than expected and she might not be able to wear any of the leg warmers until her 4th birthday — but at least that means that her birthday presents for that year are sorted. Thinking ahead = More mom awesomeness.

The Desperate Housewife

Desperately BORED, that is. Now I completely understand why housewives get into all types of mischief,  like the ever popular sordid love affair with the surprisingly-muscular-for-his-age pool boy. It’s the afternoon boredom! My mornings are great – they bustle with energy and productivity; with my new routine I wake up early (let’s just agree that 8:30 a.m. qualifies as early) and clean or launder, then maybe go to the gym, check my emails/Facebook, read a book and before I know it, it’s time for lunch!

But eventually and rather unfortunately, lunchtime has to end at one point or another. I then spend the afternoon in absolute tedium, traipsing interchangeably from the reading chair to the computer to the fridge. My unholy trinity. Two weeks ago I would have been content to watch TV the entire afternoon without the slightest bit of shame. But now I’ve gone and convinced myself that TV is the root of all evil (see footnote) and my nemesis in the journey towards better housewifery. So where does that leave me? Bored out of my freaking mind and ready to fling myself off the balcony at any given moment. Some of you working folk might be seething with anger as you read this, wondering how I have the audacity to complain about my afternoons while you’re stuck doing mind-numbing, life-draining excel spreadsheets in a dreary cubicle.  But before you start foaming at the mouth, please remember that you get paid for the boring crap you do. Me? Not so much.

I could blog more often but it would probably be best to spare you from too many mindless rants within the same week. The pool attendants at our communal pool are all middle aged and female which takes one possibility off the table (husband, you can breathe a sigh of relief). So, as much as it pains me to say this because it makes me feel at least 100 years old, I may need to explore the age old housewife tradition of  crafting. The world may not need any more hand-made soap, candles or jewelry but world be dammed, I need something to do!

It’s decided then. Crafting will henceforth be adopted as a suitable afternoon pastime. I intend to keep you abreast of any developments (or lack thereof) in my newly found pursuit so stay tuned for updates on this topic. 

*Footnote: This only applies to the hours before 6 p.m. I happily and unabashedly follow pretty much every primetime show that exists.    

PS – My mind, body & soul makeover is going well if you were by any chance wondering. I have a healthy stash of books waiting to be read and have already ordered my meditation CD.  As fate would have it though, my cheap ass forgot that I purchased a gym membership that only allows me to use the gym 3 days/week so unfortunately my 5 day plan had to trim down to 3. Okay, who am I kidding, the realization that I couldn’t go to the gym more than 3 times/week even though I wanted to was the best thing that happened to me all week, possibly even all month.