Cry Me a River

Have you ever just felt the need to cry it out? Like the only thing that could possibly relieve your frustration/sadness/anger/irritability was a serious, woe-is-me crying session? Well, I have. And I’ve found that in the absence of my usual soothers (wine, caffeine, WINE, etc) crying has become my preferred stress reliever. Besides, nobody is better at feeling sorry for me than I am. I’m incredible at it. All I have to do is think about how severely miserable my situation is for a few seconds and the floodgates burst open. And we’re not talking about a silent, gentle stream of tears here. No way. My situations are SEVERE! And as such, they warrant full on sobbing sessions. 

My situation on Sunday, dear friends, was severely miserable. I had heartburn all day, I couldn’t find a comfy position on the couch no matter what I did, I couldn’t watch any good scary movies because hubs was away on a work trip and watching them would have meant sleeping with all the lights on plus a wooden stake under my pillow and finally, I couldn’t enjoy my donut or my Pad Thai or my Mongolian Beef because of the heartburn. So there I was, denied of every basic need that I needed to survive (I use the term ‘basic’ loosely here). AND THEN as if all this was not enough, when I glanced at the kitchen sink at the end of the day, I realized that since hubs was away, I WOULD HAVE TO DO THE DISHES! That was the last straw. At 9 pm, I stood in the middle of the kitchen and had a long, hearty sobbing session. 

And my, oh my, was it therapeutic! As good as I am at wallowing in self-pity, I’m even better at pulling myself back from the brink of utter despair. I can be simultaneously sobbing AND telling myself that it’s going to be ok (which in my humble opinion, must be some kind of superpower). The crying worked and afterwards I felt great. So great infact, that I decided not to ruin it by doing the dishes.

Crying. Is. Awesome.

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Too random? Probably.

I often wonder if my husband secretly suspects that I’m mad. Sometimes, I manage to surprise even myself with how random I can be. Take Tuesday morning for instance. He had just kissed me goodbye and was about to head out to work when just as he reached for the door handle, I told him that I wanted a pet turtle. Now, the thought of owning a pet turtle has been on my mind for some time now but I have no idea why I chose this particular moment to tell him this. A turtle? he asked (and let go of the door handle as he no doubt realized that this was a conversation that I intended to have right there and then, whether he was late for work or not). Ya, a turtle. Not a tortoise? No! A small turtle that I can keep in an aquarium. But turtles grow big and can get as big as tortoises. No they don’t, you can get miniature turtles that you can keep in aquariums and they won’t grow big. (I have no idea about the validity of this last statement, I honestly pulled that bit of info out of my a*s. At this point however, all I wanted to hear was that it was a great idea and that I should go right ahead and get one) Well, I’ve only seen huge turtles, he persisted. Ya, but I saw on TV this one lady who had a small pet turtle that she kept in an aquarium and it was so cute… but the only thing is that turtles live for so long which means that when we move to Kenya we’ll have to leave it here.  We can take it with us. (The sweetness of his response was completely lost on me at that moment. But thinking about it now, the poor man was actually offering to fly this imaginary pet turtle of mine to Africa! All this time by the way, he was standing patiently at the door, waiting for me to release him). No way! Take it with us and pay for its flight? Plus it will be in an aquarium! But maybe we can just wait until we move back home and then we can go to Mombasa and find one in the ocean. (Because there are just thousands of miniature turtles floating along the shores of the Indian Ocean) Okay fine then. That’s something that you can do with your daughter.  -> Having nothing else to say on the matter and feeling adequately pacified with the prospect of making a trip to the Indian Ocean in several years’ time to find my pet turtle, I bid him adieu and he left for work. 

He must think that I’m a complete nut. Or maybe he’s used to me now. I don’t know. I never think about it long enough to ask. But every now and then, I wonder.

Thursday Things

1. Happiness is an attitude.  We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong.  The amount of work is the same.  ~Francesca Reigler. 

And with that quote in mind, please watch this short, too-cute-for-words video.

2. A while ago, Kuweni Serious released this fantastic piece in the effort to ‘fight the evil forces of apathy’ that plague the younger generation in Kenya (and all over the developing world if you really think about it). I think it’s worth sharing.

3. Aid organizations and the United Nations itself have expressed alarm that the plight of millions of Pakistanis flooded from their land has yet to strike a sufficiently sympathetic nerve among donors — neither governments nor the general public — with aid trickling in far more slowly than needed ~The New York Times

Disaster fatigue? Donor mistrust of Pakistan? Insufficient media coverage? Why the relative apathy when 20 million people have been affected by this tragedy?

4. Lately I’ve been trying to smile at least once an hour, no matter what. At first it felt silly but now I’ve discovered that smiling (even for no particular reason), makes my days much happier 🙂

Have a happy weekend!